Conflict: The 10% / 90% Rule in Real Estate
10% of Conflict is due to a difference of Opinion and 90% is due to Delivery and Tone of voice
Over my years in the mortgage industry, I have seen countless times how situations can be escalated. Have you ever heard about someone canceling a home purchase because of $50 fix? I have seen it personally. While it happens in all industries, mortgage and real estate are fields where it happens quite frequently. Why is this?
First off, buyers and seller are emotionally charged. They are about to enter into one of the biggest transactions of their lives, and they are excited, scared, happy, sad, and nervous all at the same time. But how does a simple disagreement go escalate into a true conflict? Simple. Delivery and tone that information is presented.
The job of Realtors and Lenders is to serve their clients best interests, sometimes protecting them from themselves. The success of a real estate transaction often comes down to how well the Realtor conveys their parties thoughts and information.
We have to understand that buyers and sellers are likely to say things in a way they would not normally under less stressful circumstances. We, as professionals, have an obligation to help them through these times. DON'T through fuel on the fire. If as a professional you escalate the situation instead of diffusing it, your career will be much shorter and less fruitful than it could be. Don't be that realtor or lender who says proudly " you should have heard me tell them _____!" You gained nothing and possibly hurt your client.
So here a few rules to follow and help all parties involved.
When working with your client, always let them vent to you, as this is the best way to get to the root of their concern. Find that concern, and address IT, not the emotion. It will allow them to calm down after they get it out as well.
When your client says tell them "to stick it ____ _____ _____!", leave that part out when communicating with other parties. Boil it down to the facts, and kindly say my clients do not accept those terms, and see if there is a counter.
Remain calm yourself. Your clients are looking to you for guidance, and if they see you stressed and out of control, their blood pressure shoots up as well.
Always be courteous in your conversations. Think of it this way. Emotions try to get other people to feel the same way we feel, so don't allow someone else to control how a conversation goes. Remain calm courteous and as pleasant as possible.
Remember your delivery of information and tone can elicit other to have an emotional response. And, try to not let others pull you down a negative road.
A positive attitude does not guarantee success, but a negative attitude guarantees failure.
Marcel Deitrich NMLS #231135
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